You know, I think I'll put this blog off till another time!
On second thoughts, perhaps I should write it now, because I have a lot of writing to do on my novel, and lots of research to do, too, before I can write effectively. So, yeah, I'll write this now, instead.
It's such a major pain in the ass to be a procrastinator. If I thought kicking my own ass would do any good, I'd lay into myself as I write this. I should be working on my novel, and doing the research I need to do, so i can write the novel as well as i can, but, for some reason unknown to myself, I just keep allowing myself to become distracted. I don't know why - it's not like i find the stuff i do instead to be any more interesting or satisfying. Maybe I'm addicted to the dream, and i don't want to spoil it with reality. Maybe that's it!
I have such a tough time getting through my average day, that i have little energy or enthusiasm left for anything else. I struggle with my fucked-up mind's tendency to worry and stress over fears. I live in anxiety and stress. I wish I was back home, but i will have to wait for nine weeks before that will be a reality. If I was smart, I would use the time I have here to get my novel finished. I could do it, if I just put my head down, shut down the Internet, and got my ass in gear and my fingers tapping. I'm running out of time afterall, might be smart to make use of what I've got.
In all seriousness though, Procrastination can be a real problem. It can get in the way of your progress as a person, and it can fuck up relationships with friends and partners like you wouldn't believe. People think you are lazy. But it's not laziness. It's different. It's like this paralysing cloud that descends on your mind, and forces you to redirect your attention, or it will just switch off your brain completely. It horrible! I know I'm not the only one who deals with this shit, I mean, everyone does on some level. But I seem to be a severe case - especially nowadays, with high-def TVs, computers, Internet, games consoles, and Internet porn to deal with. I mean, it's just fucking unfair.
If i had put this effort into my research, I'd be ready to roll right about now.
I think the Internet is worse for procrastinators like me, than a stack of heroin is to a junkie. It offers so much, so fast, and it's bad for the attention span, because you lose the ability to sift through irrelevant data to find what you need. Search engines have taken a heavy toll on our attention spans. We are all voyeurs, waiting to be spoon-fed information or entertainment. I will change this about myself! I will! And i will start now!
Signing out,
Me
P.S It appears that no one reads my blogs. I find that strange, because I read everyone else's. Maybe mine are not displayed because they are shit. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.
